You can't speak about it ...

I managed to avoid family weddings for the last 12 years (work, out of town, busy with school etc) till this summer - I was invited to 2 family weddings within a month of each other. So this post is dedicated to my thoughts on weddings. It may be a bit whiny... so beware.

I love weddings.

. . . excepting for the depression that sets in after the last dance.

Interestingly, it is the very same things that I love about weddings that leave me most depressed. The taking of the vows, the support and love showered on the couple, the togetherness of a life ahead, the toast, the first dance (especially when the couple dances well), the madness on the dance floor afterwards . . . till the last dance. And then as I drive away, contemplating on how beautiful it all was, I feel like a child in a candy store with no money.

At both the weddings some kind of a camera was handed to me by a parent of the bride/groom to capture the important moments for them. It was good to feel that they trusted me to know when the important moments would be, though it was laced with the bitterness that the trust probably resulted from me being the only single person available to do the job instead of being obliged to sit hand in hand with a spouse through the ceremony. Of course, I always made sure that there was a professional photographer on the job to reduce the burden of responsibility (I have been known on one occasion to have clicked a whole roll with the lid on the lens!!).

Hence, I viewed both the weddings from behind a camera. I was not obliged to sit in one position with a single view. Instead, I was free to run around the ceremony and capture the most intimate moments of the wedding with a telephoto zoom lens. I felt like I was there in the wedding even though I was always safely hidden behind the camera. The slight smile spreading on the bride's lips, the fumble with the ring, the first kiss . . . I tried to capture it all. Even if they have not been recorded digitally or on tape, they definitely have been captured in my mind's eye.

Talking about photography . . . the photographer at the second wedding was indeed very very sweet and attractive. And when I say attractive I mean more than his good looks. Yes he was hot too! But there was more to it than that. During the ceremony both of us were trying to get the same moments . . . of course him being a professional hire for the evening, he probably had a greater right to the moments than I did. But I was touched by how well he coordinated his shots so that I didn't miss out the important moments. We were almost working together as a team. I knew when to back out and take a different angle of the same shot and he'd return the favor next time.

Of course after dinner when I was going crazy on the dance floor making every aunt and grand-aunt swing with me, he made it a point to do close ups of me and even pulled me to a corner to give me pre-views of the shots. He was my brightest spot the whole evening. :)

Oh well! After the dust settles I usually find myself on the road in the silence of my car. Back from the candy store, empty handed. I love the candy store, I enjoy looking at the colorful candy wraps in the glass shelves. I hate to leave disappointed.

And whats worse, theres no way I can ask for money or even speak about my disappointment. So, till I have to visit the candy store again, I'll dream about the photographer.