Events and Refelctions

I have been meaning to update my blog for the last couple of weeks but stuff has been getting in the way ... and now I have so many thoughts to register, that I do not know where to start.

Fall my favorite season of the year is almost gone. The forests were ablaze with color, the last hooray before the winter sets in. This year the weather has been a bit odd - we had an early fall snow, which melted away in a day - but left behind a cover of gray dreariness and slow drizzle that lingered right through October. And now in November - that the trees have lost all the color we have been having beautiful - albeit windy - fall days. So we are enjoying the last of a series of beautiful fall days.

I mentioned in my last post that my parents were visiting. Truth be told, I was a bit nervous before they arrived - as this was the first time they were going to see our shared life, our house and our dear pups. Would they approve? Well, I must say - it was an absolutely wonderful visit. I am very very thankful that they got along very well with my partner T' and vice-versa. Our families met each other as well - and it was such a beautiful get together. Somehow it made it all so very real - and even sacred in some sense. I am terribly proud of my parents, because in-spite of themselves, they have journeyed with me on my quest, and I feel honored to share every aspect of my life with them. While they were visiting, the four of us visited Yellowstone National Park (YNP) - and I must say YNP is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life. The trip went off quite well and I think my parents enjoyed it quite a bit. T' was enjoying all the wonderful food Ma was cooking (excepting for Karela). He seemed to like Payesh - a good old Bengali favorite - very much and has learned to make it (unfortunately I am lactose intolerant). And Ma would make it a point to make puppy sized parathas for B' and E', as well. They completely loved having Baba around - 3 walks a day does not compare with anything they have had before. It was definitely difficult to say good-bye, when their 6 week visit came to an end - we had gotten quite used to them being around.

So that was a busy and eventful fall. The best part for me was to go to sleep each night with the secure feeling that my whole world was warm and cozily tucked in under the same roof.

... and now to the reflections of the season. Just simple ones - enjoying the moment, knowing that its all we've got - and that before we know it, all will seem like a dream. I sit at my window and watch the wind sweeping the dry leaves in the yard - gathering them up in neat heaps - only to swirl them around its finger like eddies, carelessly undoing its own hard work. The wanton ways of the whistling wind speaks to me of distant lands. I hear the rhythm of drums - a harmonious blend of many narratives, punctuated by the silence of wisdom and the music of the spheres.

Fall Family Fling!

... So ... my parents have been visiting us for the last two weeks and life has been GREAT!! :) All my different worlds are converging - and I must say I'm a bit amused and overwhelmed all at the same time. Here are a few highlights:

1. T' and my parents are getting along like a house on fire - they have finally found the obedient son in him they never had in me!!

2. All the parents met the parents - i.e. my parents met T's parents and exchanged gifts - and had lunch. Both the Moms had gifts for each other - and both almost forgot to give it to each other.

3. We all took a trip to Chicago last weekend.

4. I had a proposal deadline this week and almost died under the pressure - T' took care of my parents - making me look progressively worse.

5. Ma has been knitting sweaters for Bert and Ernie!! They love Baba - because suddenly they have realized that walks have become a 3 hourly event rather than a rare weekly outing.

6. Ma and T' agreed vehemently that Indian men are incapable of taking care of themselves :(

7. Today all day has been a big cooking fest and next weekend we are all off to Yellowstone!

... so ... I guess that's whats going on at this end - we had scallops and prawns for lunch and plan to have luchi-mangsho for dinner. As Ma and T' are busy exchanging recipes - I've retired from the kitchen for the time being - you know how we Indian men are, right ;) - might as well enjoy the reputation!

They are back ...

Remember my post about the illusion of stasis - that nostalgia tinged email about how wonderful it is to teach and see 'the kids' move on as we grayed over the years!!!

Well, yesterday while driving across the bridge we were accosted by this:



You guessed it! The students are back - new school year starts next week.

This is orientation week, so the entire town is full of fresh faced 18-year olds with a flock of over engaged parents in tow!!! This means that we have to cross the bridge and go to strange out of the way restaurants to escape from the flood of said parents and freshers.

New school year is upon us. I am teaching two senior classes this semester and advising three graduate students. Then of course there is the usually slew of proposals, papers etc.

Cynicism besides, I must say the excitement in the air is exhilarating and the energy is difficult to ignore :)

Expectation

There was a time back in grad school when having hit a few dead ends and hurt, I took stock of my life. It involved a process of winnowing away all in-essentials from my life laying bare the valuable - and focusing on each of those aspects. Akin to removing the weeds from the flower beds so they don't crowd out the flowering plants. I referred to the process as my quarter life crisis.

It had various outcomes - but most important of all - it taught me to value and nurture what I had and lower my expectations. Rather than crowding the flower bed with more plants, allowing each of the plants to bloom.

Its been 7 years since this process. Once again I find myself at another critical point - and the urge to winnow is coming on again. Though this time around I think the theme is: Expect Less, Love More.

Till I read recently completed reading Lay That Trumpet in Our Hands.

Its a beautifully written account of a progressive white family's resistance to the KKK's in the early 1950s, in Central Florida. Touching on real historical events, part imagined and mostly biographical, the book is narrated by a 14 year old girl who captures the racial tensions of the times, her father's idealism and a touching portrait of personal loss.

While justice is the point of the story - it is overshadowed by the immediacy of the human stories and the intimacy of the narrative. (There are time when you can smell the orange blossoms). Justice is regarded as an abstract idea, rather than as a reparative act. Initially, the book left me feeling disturbed because the story did not meet out the justice that the underlying ideals promised. Of course, the author remained loyal to the historical context of the time and so I am not complaining. No - I wasn't looking for a HollyBollywood ending. What was bothering me was the brutal reality of the story - that the people who fought the bitter battles could not expect the justice they deserved and dedicated their lives to. But after mulling over it for a while, and with the advantage of a historical perspective, I realized that the struggles outlined in the book were indeed the seeds that laid the ground for MLK and his ilk.

It reminded me of this line I read somewhere (can't remember): The arc of the universe bends towards justice - however long.

The question then is - when is it all right to expect gratification from life? Or should we live in faith - like the people who died with a brave prayer of hope, without ever bearing the fruits of their labor? And isn't that the most difficult act of love?

So I say: Expect Less, Love More, Have Faith.

[Choose your article of faith :) ]

My vacation week ...

This is officially my "Vacation week" - 2nd week in August, 2 weeks before classes start. (Officially called the calm before the storm!)

I am not visiting anywhere (Thank you - I travel enough for business) - the idea of waking up late and flopping around the house doesn't particularly appeal to me either. So this vacation week effectively becomes - leaving work before 5pm (OK! 4:00pm)!! It may sound pathetic, but I find it really relaxing to go to work and leave before 5pm. I do not having to worry about any deadlines, or feel the chill of guilt that invariably settles in when I don't work for longer than a day.

Also - after I leave work at 5pm, I take my dogs for a walk in the woods. This is the favorite part of my vacation. Bert and Ernie look forward to me coming home. They start jumping up and down (believe me its a site to watch!) when they see my car pulling in. I usually sit in the drive way for a few minutes just to get them even more excited from anticipation - and then they hop into the back seat and off we go to the trails. I use this opportunity to catch up on Podcasts of 'This American Life' and 'Selected Shorts' - two of my favorite radio programs. Bert and Ernie run along ahead - Ernie insists on leading the way - poor Bert tries to keep up with him, but half way through the trail, encumbered by his ample belly, he usually falls back!

One of the joys of a Northern summer is that the sun sets very late (its usually dusk as late as 11pm in mid July) - that leaves an ample evening ahead. I cooked last night (chiken chaap, matar paneer and dal fry) - and we grilled the night before. So tonight I decided to sit on the deck and sip my gin & tonic while enjoying the vibrant evening.

Summer evenings are full of unseen activity. The wind rustling through the leaves, a rodent scampering away into the bushes in the far corner of the yard (inviting a growl from Bert and a look of annoyance from Ernie!), the smell of grilled meat and vegetables wafting in from a neighbor's yard, voices, a couple walking down the street wheeling a stroller (or two), the sun playfully bouncing off the surface of my drink and glinting at me through the glass ... I close my eyes and let it all flow around me, enjoying the activity - feeling like a rock in a fast flowing river! And then a bug bites me!! Splat! Summer :)

Ironically, August is the busiest month for T' - so he is back home around 8pm. After dinner we usually settle down in front of the TV - and now as I blog, he is editing some stuff on his laptop, while Bert and Ernie are watching TV. As I look out of the window, I see the dark silhouette of the maple tree in our backyard gently swaying in the pink and blue smear of dusk.

Dusk is my favorite part of summer. She slips into the evening and melts into the short night - you never know the exact moment that marks her arrival or her departure. The short soothing reprieve between the activity of the evening and the Milky-Way splattered silence of night.

Another thing about vacation - blogging without caring about tense, spelling, coherence ...

Nostalgia

Warning: This post is like an idle river - it meanders, digresses and aimlessly wanders reflecting little more than the blue sky above.

The other day Orange was complaining about not finding love. When I read his post I was reminded of my twenties - my grad school days! Yeah, all my friends were getting married left, right and center, climbing the corporate ladder - and there was I, slogging away in my lab - nay, finding refuge in my work because nothing else made sense.

I went through an identity crisis and in order to resolve it (as all good engineers should) I resorted to a systematic deconstruction and reconstruction of my identity. And one thing that came off this process was, that my brand sparkling new-age identity had not only retained, but rediscovered with vigor my Bengali identity - specifically defined by the works of thinkers and poets who laid the foundation of liberal modern thought in Bengal back between 1800-1940. My exciting discovery of that history can be left for another blog post. And my love for the expression of universalism in Tagore's poetry and music was renewed. I rediscovered him as an universalist, rather than as obligatory listening because I was born Bengali!

But anyway, going back to Orange's post it reminded me of one of Tagore's songs (now you see why I had to explain the identity business) that has always been very close to my heart and during those cold nights back in grad school, it often cheered me up. The song is -



I am no good at translating - but long and short of it is that the poet wonders, what is love? is it indeed the pain and longing that defines it? or is it not the freedom and joy it affords us?

I was quite surprised to find this video - its from a movie that dates back to the 60s, based on a story set in the late 19th century (I think!). Growing up this scene was one of my favorite movie scenes.

Soon after watching this You Tube video I quickly went through a whole bunch of my favorites that I had not seen in a long time and had no clue were available on You Tube ... as I reveled in the black and white glory of old Bengali movies - I felt a sense of nostalgia - nostalgia for a time gone by, a time of relative innocence! Do I want us to go back there - no! But it reminds me of a time in my own life back when I was in Calcutta and life was simpler - much simpler. And maybe I associate these tunes with the innocence of my childhood and the memory of a city that has changed her name and her character since.

Then again, may be things haven't changed so much after all. After all the songs are still relevant, if a wee bit different.

Consider the following:



and:



Also as I wallowed in the music and the poetry, I couldn't help noticing the three different attires in the three videos - ranging between the late 19th century to the early twenty first century.

So much has changed and we still hum the same tunes our grandparents took solace in.

... or maybe I'm just plain old-fashioned!

The Garden of Eden

Its a lazy Sunday evening - the dogs are cuddled up at my feet, T' is lounging around on the other couch - there is a gentle breeze - the sun is shining bright - we are watching Mamma Mia for the one thousandth time - the tunes are always fresh and Meryl Streep is lovely as ever - and I've always had a secret crush on Collin Firth! Life feels good and relaxed and perfect ...

... then there is that voice at the back of my head reminding me of all the work that needs to be done - all the WORK!! Same damn voice that has been hauting me since I can remember - school board exam, school certificate exam, all the tests and exams in College (probably the most irresponsible I've ever been), the never ending drama of grad school, and then proposals, papers, students, deadlines, deadlines, deadlines - seems like I could develop a discrete event simulation of my life based on deadlines and predict the future within a 95% confidence interval! Grrrrr!!!

... and as I watch this movie about people coming of age - maturing - after having spent a youth of irresponsible joyful abandon - I wonder where my share of "irresponsible joyful flings" and craziness went? Instead it seems to me all my life I have been trying to do the damn responsible thing - and I think I have (till this moment, when I am choosing to blog instead of working on my proposal!) been mostly responsible!

... and even now when I have the view to the Garden right in front of me - all I do is wonder and worry about the next proposal, the next paper and so on ... is there an end to this?

Maybe the Garden of Eden is and always was right in front our very damn noses - if only we could stop worrying about tomorrow and lived in the beauty of today ...

... so for tonight, I shall let the voice rest and simply be!!

So ...

So - I was not sure that I'd live to see this day - so I guess, I need to be a lot more optimistic and expect more from life :)

I think the Delhi HC decision is a must read for anybody interested in the morality and legality of issues related to human dignity, human rights and all those wonderful things we all hope and pray for. May I quote a few striking passages:

"... it is clear that the constitutional protection of dignity requires us to
acknowledge the value and worth of all individuals as members of our society. It recognises a person as a free being who develops his or her body and mind as he or she sees fit. At the root of the dignity is the autonomy of the private will and a person's freedom of choice and of action. Human dignity rests on recognition of the physical and spiritual integrity of the human being, his or her humanity, and his value as a person, irrespective of the utility he can provide to others. The expression “dignity of the individual” finds specific mention in the Preamble to the Constitution of India. V.R. Krishna Iyer, J. observed that the guarantee of human dignity forms part of our constitutional culture ..." (para 26: WP(C)7455/2001)

" ... The right to privacy thus has been held to protect a “private space in which man may become and remain himself”. The ability to do so is exercised in accordance with individual autonomy. ... The privacy recognises that we all have a right to a sphere of private intimacy and autonomy which allows us to establish and nurture human relationships without interference from the outside community. The way in which one gives expression to one's sexuality is at the core of this area of private intimacy. " (para 41: WP(C)7455/2001)

and then comes the killer:

" ... For every individual, whether homosexual or not, the sense of gender and sexual orientation of the person are so embedded in the individual that the individual carries this aspect of his or her identity wherever he or she goes. A person cannot leave behind his sense of gender or sexual orientation at home. While recognising the unique worth of each person, the Constitution does not presuppose that a holder of rights is as an isolated, lonely and abstract figure possessing a disembodied and socially disconnected self. It acknowledges that people live in their bodies, their communities, their cultures, their places and their times. The expression of sexuality requires a partner, real or imagined. It is not for the state to choose or to arrange the choice of partner, but for the partners to choose themselves." (para 47: WP(C)7455/2001)

and strikingly on morality:

"Thus popular morality or public disapproval of certain acts is not a valid justification for restriction of the fundamental rights under Article 21. Popular morality, as distinct from a constitutional morality derived from constitutional values, is based on shifting and subjecting notions of right and wrong. If there is any type of “morality” that can pass the test of compelling state interest, it must be “constitutional” morality and not public morality. This aspect of constitutional morality was strongly insisted upon by Dr. Ambedkar in the Constituent Assembly." (para 79: WP(C)7455/2001) (please do read the specifics of Dr. Ambedkar's words)

"The Constitution of India recognises, protects and celebrates diversity. To stigmatise or to criminalise homosexuals only on account of their sexual orientation would be against the constitutional morality." (para 80: WP(C)7455/2001)

He bases his judgement on zillion cases from across the world and India (notably among then Roe v. Wade, Lawrence v. Texas, UNHRC reports) - very articulate - simply amazing. IPC 377 still holds in all matters involving minors and non-consensual sex. (It may be a bit troubling, but 377 is apparently the only law on the books protecting minors!)

So I will raise a toast to the author(s) of this judgment and the clarity of thought and intellect that went into writing this document! So here's to Chief Justice S. Muralidhar and the Delhi HC.

Having afforded ourselves that brief moment of joy - may I point out the following:

1. There is that nagging voice at the back of my head saying something about counting our eggs before .... or was it something about chickens .... never mind!

2. On a related note - I took a screen shot of the TOI web page (as of 9:30pm, US-EST). I think its important to put the afore-mentioned wonderfully written decision in the context of other relevant privacy issues. Look closely at the article about the investigation into Muslim boy- Hindu girl marriages as there may be a conspiracy afoot, the assurance that "gayness does not spread like the flu" and even as the "swine flu" claims its first victim, "US stocks plunge on dismal job figures" ... and so life goes on!


Just saying ....

Raising a glass to the victories and joys of the day - while hoping to see many many more such victories in our lives, and in the lives of beleaguered brethren of all sorts and stripes!

Painful!

It is extremely painful when a student passes away - often when they have been involved in an accident. The loss is terrible, of course, for the parents. While it is unlikely I'll ever be a parent, I think its terrible to have to bury your own children. And for the rest of us, its terrible to helplessly witness the parents' pain and at the same time feel the terrible loss of potential - of promise.

This morning we woke up to the very sad news of one of my partner's student staff members being killed last night in a freak motor accident. He was 19. I had met him on a couple of occasions when he came home to help us with his gardening ideas for our flower beds. We took him out to dinner at Pizza Hut afterwards - and it was such a joy to listen to him talk about his plans, as he flashed his million dollar smile (which seems to be what everybody remembers of him). He was gay, so T' and I, joked about our relationship, warning him of what he had to look forward to. If only ...

I will think of him everytime the flowers bloom.

Patience

This afternoon as I sat in my study, trying to get some writing done, resisting distractions such as: new incoming email (some of which require urgent attention), a new bird at the bird bath in the rose garden, new incoming email, a news update, new incoming email ... It struck me that I am in a phase of my life when I am waiting for all sorts of things to happen. Patiently waiting, quietly working and fervently hoping that it all works out. Waiting for journal papers to get accepted, proposals to be funded, various paper work related issues to get resolved, systems to work, project engineers to communicate - the list is long. The word 'Pending' seems to be written large across almost every aspect of my life.

And yet, I am not unhappy. As I look out at the peaceful scene outside my study window, I realize I have lots to be thankful for - just not enough patience for all the pending issues to be resolved. Meanwhile, it seems like the wait is distracting me from getting work done and enjoying the NOW. Its as if visions of the future are holding the present ransom. Given that I develop simulations for a living, I can't help running 'what-if's in my head all the time, forgetting that somehow I am sacrificing today and shaping tomorrow even as I try to prepare and plan for it.

On the same note, last Sunday, Bert and Ernie (our adorable Dachshunds) chased a squirrel up one of the trees that border a modest rose garden in our front yard. After that, they both sat- taking turns to stay on gaurd - under the tree for an hour and a half patiently waiting for the squirrel to come down. When it finally did come down - they chased it under the deck!! I was amazed at their single minded perseverance and patience! Unfortunately, they didn't get to enjoy the beautiful afternoon (read put their nose in every nook and corner!), and eventually the squirrel eluded them too!

I guess I should just focus on the now - realize that the future simply, is.

The Object of Desire

Patience

"Your Turn!"

Ooops! Did I just lose it?

Then and now!

It was during the summer of 1998, Calcutta.

Two guys - about 20 years of age - perched on a railing bordering Minto Park, watching the busy traffic rush by, at the intersection of Loudon Street, Landsdowne Road and Lower Circular Road.

This was back when Calcutta summers were muggy, but bearable. It was sunny, the temperature was probably in the 90s.

They sat there in silence - if silence is possible at a busy intersection. Traffic rushing in from each direction, moving in rhythm to the play of the air horns that provided the tenor (taxis) and the base (big buses belching out black smoke and lumbering on), while the electric horns on the newer cars complemented with the alto and the soprano (the really fancy foreign cars). The traffic police stood in the middle of this din and conducted the smooth harmonic flow. But the two of them sat there in silence.

One of them, lets call him A, was back home from college after an amazingly unremarkable and completely forgettable semester, while the other, lets call him J, was bunking afternoon lab. at the local college that he was attending. They had gone to high school together and were good friends. Not long ago, after graduating from high school, their paths had diverged, but the friendship hadn't waned. Their circumstances had significantly changed, though. The flying colors that each had graduated with had faded to a very sad gray. The "we are winners" look was a shadow of its earlier self. The smiles had somewhat hardened - the perfect picture of disillusioned youth.

The question at hand was - now what?? Where were they headed? College seemed to be a bit of a drag for both and the road ahead seemed uncertain and chaotic. Hence the silent contemplation.

------------------

11 years later - probably on the very same summer day, in another part of the world - a place where fall foliage is vibrant, winters are long and the light lingers late on summer evenings.

Scanning the morning news on the NYT webpage, A comes across the picture of a model in a pop-up advertisement. Reminds him of J. How odd - they hadn't spoken in over ten years. Indeed, their lives did diverge. The distance yawned, till each became a memory to the other. Till of course the errant ad. popped up.

A facebook search and a friend request followed.

Later in the afternoon - A was running through J's profile and his network. Photographs of old school buddies, wives, children - Both A and J seemed to have figured a way to navigate the last 11 years. The colors seemed to have returned - or at least they did not need them anymore. Instead they seemed to sport genuine smiles that said "Oh! Well - !?"

--------------------

The memory of that afternoon in Calcutta, 11 years ago remains vivid yet!

The illusion of stasis

Its that time of the year again. The semester has come to an end - even the grading pile is winding down. Everything seems to be in a state of transition, as students graduate, or go off for the summer. Packing boxes and U-haul trucks dot the residence hall parking lots, and the late night bus leaving town is now in demand.

One of the joys of being a teacher is watching students grow and evolve. Sometimes the growth happens in an 'ah-ha' moment - sometimes it happens gradually, often slowly, but always surely, over months and years. Often we merely watch the growth - sometimes we have the joy of being part of it. Hence, this time of the year has a bitter-sweet feel to it - bidding farewell to students, while sharing their joys of graduation - often sharing it with their parents who are here for commencement.

On a personal note, this year I said goodbye to my first PhD student - who has started a post-doc elsewhere. Two of my MS students also graduated and even though each of them had very different trajectories - they are both in excellent jobs and one of them has also gotten married. The term 'commencement' is appropriately used for the graduation ceremony - it is indeed the beginning of a new chapter for all of them.

For those of us who call this town our home, this time of the year marks a transition from classes to research and the joys of summer. Part of us is looking forward to the exodus - waiting to reclaim the brewery deck, plotting out our long summer evenings, rooting for the final blot of snow to melt away, and the buds on the trees to finally bloom - finally making winter a distant dream. Summer beckons - but so does yard work :)

As we watch students reach milestones in their lives and negotiate marked transitions, we often miss the subtle changes and transitions we are negotiating in our own lives. My partnership with T' has entered a phase of quiet comfort. We fight the same fights over and over again - often breaking out into laughter half way through in anticipation of the predictable responses. 3 Macs, a wedding, a few fancy cast iron pots, and a programmable coffee brewer later, we lost a few pounds, gained a few pant sizes and some gray hair, and have had lots of good times.

By the time the students are back it'll be time for the north winds to blow again, and we'll be getting ready for yet another year. We'll go back to our classrooms and forget about these transitions - the students in my junior class will still be 19, just as they were last year and just as they will be next year. Once again we'll get swept up in the rhythm of the academic year, where nothing seems to change. Once again we'll be deluded by the illusion of stasis.

In the mean time - order me a Gin Mojito and lets look forward to summer 08 - i mean summer 09.

On being an elitist

Suffice it to say, all my life I have been called an elitist. I have been aware of such tendencies from an early age - and have tried my best to blur in with the masses. But try as I might, every once in a while I say and do things that lay bare all my efforts at being a card carrying member of the proletariat. (This is when I feel like saying: can't help it, I was born this way!)

However, of late I am finding many many good reasons to finally come out as an elitist and be comfortable being one. I want to take ownership of the term 'elitist' and wear it as a badge of honor rather than carry it as a burden of shame. And in taking ownership I think its critical that I define its semantics rather than let it fall in the hands of unmitigated fools.

Who an elitist is:
1. Someone who believes in equal rights and equal opportunities for everybody.
2. Someone who believes that hard work and diligence should be rewarded while lazy inefficiency and incompetence should be looked down upon.
3. Someone who recognizes that even with equal opportunities, the system is often heavily biased against some sections of society making it difficult for them to succeed.
4. Someone who believes that the wealthy and the successful owe it to society and themselves to give back to those sections of society where hard work and merit is not enough to be successful.
5. Someone who makes no excuses for stupidity - period.
6. Someone who discriminates based on a person's achievement and outlook - how good are they at what they do, what initiatives do they take in life, how positive are they
7. Someone who respects human labor and human capital - but detests lack of self improvement (the self can be improved in many many ways).
8. Someone who believes that wealth has to be created through creation of knowledge, services or tangible products - not speculative abracadabra.
9. Someone who roots for the underdog.

Who an elitist is not:
1. Someone who dismisses or discriminates against individuals simply based on their race, creed (unless stupidity is a creed), caste, sexual orientation, gender, class - or any other visible or perceived identifier that they are not directly responsible for. (I exclude religion - because it is a lifestyle choice - champion a religion at your own risk).
2. Someone who believes that public policy on complex issues such as the environment, civil rights and human conflict should be decided on the whims of the "common man," instead of involving scientists, engineers, soldiers and historians.
3. Someone who believes in a dictatorship - even benevolent ones.
4. Someone who cannot distinguish between a democracy and a democratic republic.

I hold Joe the Plumber and his ilk in utter disdain. It is a tragedy when voices like Rush Limbaugh, Amy Goodman, mislead governors and Hugo Chavez start dominating the air waves. I do not think every individual should have the same quality of life (excepting for equal access to health care, maybe) irrespective of how much effort they have put into self improvement and hard work. The current crisis to a large extent has been created by fools who were spending way more than they should have and had not the means or the ability to discern. Society lied to them when they told them they were just as good as their neighbors who put years of hard work in professional or vocational preparation and earned their homes and their lives. Saying that everybody is equal is telling a terrible lie - even though it may create the warm and cozy feeling of inclusiveness. Unfortunately we are all paying for their stupidity and the unfortunate lies now - and we should call it so. I detest liars - who tried to make money out of people's vulnerabilities and their desires.

There you go I am an elitist - and I dare you to be one!

Scrambled thoughts

This morning as I was scrambling my eggs, it struck me that its been a while since I last posted. So, I starting thinking about a suitable post - and realized that there was so much I had to say and so little that I had posted. Kinda like the junk I was putting in my omelet. So here are some scrambled thoughts.
++++++++++++++

Life is flying by. The days are turning into weeks, the weeks into months, the months into years adding momentum to the snow ball of time. In the blink of an eye life will have gone by - one short tumble down the hill.
++++++++++++++

Ever noticed how people react when they watch fireworks? Every big shower of sparks is followed by "That must be the finale ..." - and this starts long before the actual finale. When the finale does arrive, there is a moment of hushed silence, a loud applause and then as the crowd dissipates a sense of "oh... too bad its over".

Oh, but to enjoy the beauty of the moment while it lasts - even if we know that its only transient. Even if we know that its going to be over soon, that it can't last forever, that paradise is gained only to be lost.

Didn't someone say something about "holding eternity in a moment ..."
++++++++++++++

So today is supposed to be "Evolution Sunday." The day when the God fearing try to reconcile the theory of evolution with the idea that all we hold dear was indeed created.

I can understand the urge to hold onto the idea of creation - even against our better senses. With creation comes an implicit statement of beginning - which inevitably implies an ending. This mirrors our lives - we are born and we die - our lives are packed in neatly bounded intervals. The story of creation is a construct that helps us comprehend the infinite universe beyond by projecting an image of ourselves and our finite lives on it. It helps us ignore the eternal - even while we acknowledge an omniscient creator.

Evolution - on the other hands sets us adrift on a continuum of millions of years - with no beginning and no end in sight.
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Notice, how folklore has it that the poor are the happiest. Some or all scriptures say (in one form or another) "it is easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into the kingdom of God." But of course, the story of life is written in the verses that are tied together by strings of greed. Indeed, there is a mad rush to get wealthy. The aforementioned kingdom may not be a preferred destination.

However, in spite of the mixed response, there might be more to it than meets the eye. After all, isn't it true that the more we have, the more we stand to lose. . . that the wealthy cannot sleep in peace, and indeed the poor have nothing to lose.

If we could love just enough ... where we could live without the loved one ... just enough, not too much, not too little. If we could find that sweet spot, then maybe we could have all the wealth in the world and yet not acquire camel like proportions.

But what is it to love, if loss brings no pain - what value is wealth, if it leaves no void?

A camel, staring at the eye of a needle, lost in the dreary desert of want.
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Consider the identity:
n^2 +(n+1) = (n+1)^2 - n
Today this is my identity, for n=5.