Expectation

There was a time back in grad school when having hit a few dead ends and hurt, I took stock of my life. It involved a process of winnowing away all in-essentials from my life laying bare the valuable - and focusing on each of those aspects. Akin to removing the weeds from the flower beds so they don't crowd out the flowering plants. I referred to the process as my quarter life crisis.

It had various outcomes - but most important of all - it taught me to value and nurture what I had and lower my expectations. Rather than crowding the flower bed with more plants, allowing each of the plants to bloom.

Its been 7 years since this process. Once again I find myself at another critical point - and the urge to winnow is coming on again. Though this time around I think the theme is: Expect Less, Love More.

Till I read recently completed reading Lay That Trumpet in Our Hands.

Its a beautifully written account of a progressive white family's resistance to the KKK's in the early 1950s, in Central Florida. Touching on real historical events, part imagined and mostly biographical, the book is narrated by a 14 year old girl who captures the racial tensions of the times, her father's idealism and a touching portrait of personal loss.

While justice is the point of the story - it is overshadowed by the immediacy of the human stories and the intimacy of the narrative. (There are time when you can smell the orange blossoms). Justice is regarded as an abstract idea, rather than as a reparative act. Initially, the book left me feeling disturbed because the story did not meet out the justice that the underlying ideals promised. Of course, the author remained loyal to the historical context of the time and so I am not complaining. No - I wasn't looking for a HollyBollywood ending. What was bothering me was the brutal reality of the story - that the people who fought the bitter battles could not expect the justice they deserved and dedicated their lives to. But after mulling over it for a while, and with the advantage of a historical perspective, I realized that the struggles outlined in the book were indeed the seeds that laid the ground for MLK and his ilk.

It reminded me of this line I read somewhere (can't remember): The arc of the universe bends towards justice - however long.

The question then is - when is it all right to expect gratification from life? Or should we live in faith - like the people who died with a brave prayer of hope, without ever bearing the fruits of their labor? And isn't that the most difficult act of love?

So I say: Expect Less, Love More, Have Faith.

[Choose your article of faith :) ]